Pride Is About Every Child, Every Time
Written by Alaska Children’s Trust with integrated quotes from parents, and LGBTQ+ youth.
It’s always about the children at the Alaska Children’s Trust (ACT), regardless of who they are, where they come from, or how they identify. ACT believes every child and youth deserves a safe and supportive community to thrive, no exceptions. We serve children, youth, and families across all communities, identities, and lived experiences, recognizing that fairness begins when we leave our assumptions and biases at the door.
Alaska’s children and youth have varying personalities, different likes and dislikes, and an assortment of abilities, differences that make them special and unique. But one thing they all share in common, is the need to feel welcomed by their community. Being a part of an open and supportive community is one of the most powerful protective factors - characteristics associated with a lower likelihood of negative outcomes. Whether community means your extended family, your basketball team, the crew you go fishing with, the whole of a village or region, or your neighbors in a cul-de-sac, everyone thrives when they’re accepted and surrounded by kindness, connection, and belonging.
Unfortunately, for too many of our youth, when they come out as LGBTQIA+ they become disconnected or pushed away by their communities, their friends, and even their closest supports, like their families. Even when parents and friends are supportive, it can be difficult for youth to feel comfortable being their authentic selves because of stigma, and when coming out is met with lack of acceptance, or worse, abandonment (nationally, 40% of LGBTQIA+ youth that come out to their family are forced to leave), it can be traumatic for anyone, especially a young person.
ACT works to ensure every young person in Alaska grows up safe and supported and doesn’t have to face the kind of stress or hardship that can lead to things like dropping out of school, becoming homeless, or feeling hopeless. We also understand that for some, it is hard to create open and supportive space for youth whose identities or experiences may differ from their own or when those identities challenge our personal values and beliefs.
We know parents can struggle with being supportive when their beliefs and their love for their child are in conflict. As we join the world in celebrating Pride Month, we’re sharing reflections and resources to support parents and community members who may be navigating this internal conflict, so that together, we can ensure all Alaska’s youth have the chance to grow up supported, safe, and thriving.
Jill, an Alaskan parent, shared, “When our child first came out, they told us at the dinner table. Blurted it out after a "How was your day?" question. We have always tried to create an environment where our kids feel loved and supported and even then they were scared. I think the most important advice for parents whose kids are LGBTQIA+ I can give is to acknowledge their bravery, support healthy choices- even if they aren't what you would choose, and to do as much learning as you possibly can. Learn why pronouns are important, learn LGBTQIA+ history, ask healthcare providers and community leaders questions. Be passionate about their wellbeing.”
ACT wants you to know just how powerful your support can be for all youth in your life - it can truly save lives. Whether you're a parent, teacher, coach, or mentor, being an affirming and caring adult can make all the difference in helping young people feel safe, valued, and able to thrive – no matter their identity.
A fourteen-year-old trans youth shared, “When I first found out my parents were supportive of my identity, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Before I told them, even simple communication of how I was feeling was made difficult. It seemed to me like there was a brick wall between us. That's why I think being open about your support for LGBTQIA+ people is really important. It lets queer people know they can approach you without the fear of being judged or exiled. Even though my parents don't understand everything yet, their efforts mean so much to me and I appreciate everything they've done for me so far. I don't know what I'd be without their support.”
In honor of Pride Month, we’ve shared four ways to support LGBTQIA+ youth — but the truth is, these actions help all youth feel seen, safe, and supported.
1) Accept Them: LGBTQIA+ youth who report having at least one accepting adult are 40% less likely to have reported a suicide attempt in the past year. Be kind, compassionate, and accept all youth in your life. Let them know (both verbally and pay attention to your own body language) that they can be their authentic self with you and never need to be afraid to show or share who they are.
2) Use Their Pronouns: One actionable way to show support and knowledge of pronouns we recommend to afterschool providers is the use of name tags where students can identify their pronouns, it’s a simple way to provide a safe space. So, if teens themselves don’t want to disclose their pronouns at that time it still opens the space for later conversation and conveys the message that you acknowledge what pronouns are and are supportive. It’s an indirect symbol that you are queer affirming and accepting. Do you know what pronouns are? Learn more about pronouns and their importance here.
3) Talk Openly and Create Space: Whether you’re a parent, coach, uncle, or babysitter, it’s important to listen when kids and youth are ready to talk. Gender identity and sexual orientation can be difficult to verbalize - even to understand internally. Be a listening ear. Show children and youth you care. Parents like Christina, a member of the Facebook group Queer Happenings, found ways to connect with their child when they came out. Christina said “I’m not good with words but my LGBTQIA+ child talked to me about how she felt when she was ready. For all our children we openly talk about equality- I think this has been a major impact on our children feeling safe to tell us things about their feelings/identities/life. LGBTQIA+ or not parents should have open communication with their kiddos.”
4) Show Them Success Stories: Negative images and portrayals of LGBTQIA+ people can leave a lasting and harmful impact on youth. In order to raise healthy, accepting, and kind children and youth, we need to be intentional about the examples that children see. Make sure your kids, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation, have access to success stories in the books, movies, and TV shows they watch. Take time to watch movies with gender fluid, transgender, and gay characters as this helps normalize discourse around identity. This can give kids a chance to talk about their own feelings and have someone to relate to. Be intentional with your selections - make sure to include BIPOC (Black Indigenous people of color) LGBTQIA+ stories and their important role in the gay and transgender rights movements.
Identity Inc. Identity advocates for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, asexual, queer and gender-expansive people LGBTQIA+
Choosing our Roots - a queer-led and queer-focused nonprofit providing housing support and case management to queer, Alaskan youth and young adults experiencing housing insecurity and homelessness.
The Trevor Project - check out the newest research that provides new knowledge and clinical implications related to LGBTQ youth and suicide risk.
Gender Cool - has lots of youth stories!
Supporting young people and helping them feel connected to a caring community protects them from harm and helps them grow into stronger, healthier Alaskans. As Pride Month winds to a close, draw strength from these stories and examples, welcome in the energy of the month, and join us in continually deepening our ability to accept, love, and empower all children and youth.
